Country: USA
Genre: Humor
Pages: 106
I'm a man. That means I'm born with ninety gigabites of information, theory, philosophy and finger painting .pdf files about how to survive a zombie apocalypse. It's in the DNA, I can't help it. Ladies, try this. Start a discussion about zombies with men around you and they will obey to a primordial instinct and form a circle around you to debate the best practices in dispatching the undead. Therefore, reading tomes like The Zombie Survival Guide is useless to males, because we're ready. Zombies are a long shot though. Are there more pressing threats? Of course there are. Chuck Sambuchino informs us about the closest, most imminent threat to mankind survival: Garden Gnomes.
In his 106 pages tome of his, Sambuchino awakens men's intellect to the dangers of lawn ornaments. Using a simple Assess, Protect, Defend & Apply strategy model, he guides us, the reader, to build a proper defense system for our home. Thorough, Sambuchino covers the whole field of home protection. From assessing the distant threats of neighbors gnomes to one-on-one combat methods. My favorite part was "Protect" where he exposes an array of methods you can use to booby trap your yard against the twelve inch menace. The small and practical survival guide is also full of visual evidence of gnome life around the household. You will know what to watch for when it's your turn to repel the merry danger.
I had worries when I started reading this book. I thought the subject might have been a little slim and that the 106 pages format was too thin also. I was scared that it would be stretched out or crammed and overloaded. Sambuchino dutifully tiptoed around those issues, using method and structure. How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack covers only one aspect of gnome invasion: defending your household (and staying alive while doing so). He never stretches out on a subject he doesn't finish. The serious tone and the creative research makes it even more compelling. Needless to say, it leaves place for a sequel along the lines of: How To Survive A Garden Gnome Apocalypse. I'm already having goosebump over that sight: winter snow melting in May, uncovering an Armada of dormant garden gnomes all around me. Chuck, we need answers!
Step off your Mac-Book-Starbucks-Dwelling intellectual shoes for a seconds. If you don't you will end up a dead Mac-Book-Starbucks-Dwelling intellectual. Jonathan Franzen can always wait. While How To Survive A Garden Gnome Attack ain't exactly literary, it's the survival equivalent to The Elements Of Style. It's a book you carry around and study. Because when the gnomes attack, you rather be ready than dead.
