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The Frightening Mr. Bieber



In 2005, following the Xbox 360 launch craze, a man bought an empty casing of Microsoft's new console for a whopping 611$ on Ebay. He hadn't read the disclaimer, which clearly stated the nature of the package and did the equivalent of flushing his hard-earned dollars down the toilet bowl. Why did he do this? Almost six years later, it's still unclear, but the Xbox 360 was a wanted commodity back then, the gamers were bleeding the retail stores dry of their consoles. This man, driven by his blind need for gaming, associated his influxes of endorphine with the brand "Xbox 360" and clicked away without thinking twice. His identity is still unknown today, but I'm sure that he, or any children he could have had, is into Justin Bieber.

When I think about the latest hip teen idol, I feel old. Not weary-and-cranky old, but like I belong to a past era. He's an enigma to me, something I cannot relate to, a language I cannot understand. It's been two years he has been on the cover of every magazines and invited on every T.V show, but I have yet to hear one of his songs. I have seen the cover of one of his singles, so I know he has a song called "Baby", but so does Justin Timberlake and a gazillion other artists. I saw a trailer for his movie last week-end and there was no clear music, but a faint guitar riff behind the voice-over. And it's not like I'm living in a cave or something. I get out, I listen to the radio from times to times. I just never heard what the kid does. So what is Justin Bieber, if not his music. He is an image, a concept in it's purest form. And what is he supposed to represent? Fuck, if I know...

Long gone are the days where Phil Anselmo and Tom Araya stood centaurian on a stage, like modern Viking gods, preaching to millions of pissed off kids the cleansing virtues of anger, violence and Satan worship (the universal icon of rebellion). Both men are still alive today, but their audience (I.E. me) is growing older. But Justin B. isn't targeting your males. At least, not directly. But even then, in my time (not I feel really old saying this), teen idols didn't look anything like this. Back then, young girls has crushes on Brad Pitt and the Backstreet Boys. In both case, they are a stylized spin on masculinity. On one hand, an artsy, dreamy and skilled actor with a suspiciously square chin and on the other, a Sears-catalog selection of young American males, from the older, more mature Kevin to the baby faced Nick and the tattooed rebel A.J. They were a product, but at least, they meant something.

When I look at Justin Bieber I see none of that. His silly haircut, his skinny legs, his childish but pronounced traits and his clothes, sometimes too colorful, sometimes too serious, makes him look like a little lesbian. When I look at Justin Bieber I see a little lesbian, a younger version of The L Word's Shane McCutcheon. So what is this supposed to mean? That androgyny is trendy again? That Justin Bieber is the next David Bowie? Not. Bowie sung about alienation and dressed up to shock people. So did Marilyn Manson and to a certain extent, Lady Gaga. Then what does he stand for? What is he supposed to mean? What will little girls remember about Justin Bieber when they will be grown up women? Because yeah, there is an age where some girls grow up to be women and start thinking all that yelling and chasing idols down the street was pretty silly.

So what is he? Love? The desire to fall in love? The impossible? The absolute desirability? When I look at Justin Bieber I see none of that and it scares me. He's what my teacher Mr. Savoy called "an empty signifier". To me, his face means "Look", "Buy" and "Obey", like the eternal face of Big Brother in 1984. He's not hostile, but there is something uncanny about his looks of unscathed purity. Do not think. Do not say anything. Do not stand for something in particular. Just look at Justin and do like him. When Rome fell to the Barbarians, they were governed by Romulus Augustulus, an inbred teenager, esteemed to be somewhere in between thirteen and fifteen years old. We're not there yet, but every journey is a long succession of single steps. While Justin is not the antichrist, he's a sign of our forthcoming collective doom.




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