All hail Rob Darken
I have the strangest relationship to black metal. The music is fine *, it's the closest music has ever been to a perfect mix of aggression, darkness, artistic value and actual musicality. No, it's the people I have difficulty with. You think hipsters are an elitist bunch? Spend a little time on black metal internet forums and you will find that once again, hipsters have invented nothing. If you're a black metal fan, you can't ever listen to the proper bands or have the right ideas. There is always someone to tell you satanic black metal is for idiots, that grown-up listeners are into NSBM **. Other will tell you the themes have no importance, that it's the music that counts. There's always this band from Poland or Hungary, which you've never listened to, who are printing about thirty-three copies of their albums and then proceed to leak it to a worthy elite on the internets.
So, in order to be the most extreme, dark, misunderstood and tortured musician ever, there is all sorts of entertaining excesses committed, creating myths and folklore for the genre. Most people know about the tragic saga of Mayhem, who's line-up was so evil it self-destructed ***, but they are superstars, legends in the field. If you want to find the real folkloric guys, you have to dig deeper. Here are a few of these ever-so-fascinating people...
This guy strikes me as someone who understood perfectly how the game is played. The legend of Nattramn wants that he's been institutionalized for psychological issues after the release of their only album DEATH - PIERCE ME. Since in black metal, you're never as good as your first album, Silencer just retired after him, leaving 48:57 of the laments of a tortured soul as their only legacy. They are an object frozen in time and therefore can do no wrong anymore. Unless they want to reunite. That's right, apparently, Nattramn is out in the world again and still making music with industrial/dark ambiant band Diagnose: Lebensgefahr. I don't know if anything about Nattramn's problems is true. If it wasn't, that would make him one of the smartest men in black metal.
Lucifugum will go down in history as the band who shot the most ambitious video with the least financial means of all time. I think ALL MOTHERS DIE was meant to be epic. There's an impressive cast, the narrative implies the story of an inter-generational struggle, there are special effect and there's even a troll..or a shaman or whatever. Some guy once told me I didn't understand the beauty of this video, that it was full of "Slavic Imagery", but somehow I doubt that. I watch ALL MOTHERS DIE a few times here and there and I'm astonished at every viewing. I don't know much about them, except that they are still active today and they graced humanity with one of the most mind blowing videos of all-time.
It's unclear how much we know about Vidar Vaaer, better known as Ildjarn. He used hang around the black metal elite, he played bass with Thou Shalt Suffer the band that would ultimately create symphonic black metal giants Emperor. But everybody knew each other back then. Since, he has retreated in the woods, became a poster boy for misanthropy and recorded stuff like this and this. Then he bought himself a keyboard and started recording stuff like this. I know, quite the contrast. Then he released a Greatest Hits in 2005 titled ILDJARN IN DEAD and proceeded to drop from the face of the Earth. But not before leaving an awesome final statement for us to wrap our heads around.
There are so many legends about these guys, I don't even know where to start. They were a collective of bands, but their two most legendary members were Vlad Tepes and Mütiilation. They released albums in ridiculously low copy numbers (going as low as seven, I heard). Allegedly, one of their album is dark ambient, mixed with a microphone jammed in an eviscerated rat. Meyhna'ch of Mütiilation ended up having a record deal for playing actually great black metal and proceeded to be ejected from Les Légions Noires. Officially for being a junkie, but word was that there was a lot of jealousy involved. Legend wants that Meyhna'ch has been forced to drink piss by other members. Also, since then he has proceeded to play live with a dead rat on his belt, faked his own death, made a very successful comeback and then disappeared again. Some people are just not meant to live normal lives.
Gorgoroth are superstars in their own right, but have earned themselves a place on this list due to the legendary antics of their ex-frontman Gaahl. Some of you might remember him for giving that creepy interview in METAL: A HEADBANGER'S JOURNEY. The man has an impressive rap sheet. He was imprisoned in 2002 for assaulting someone and rumor wanted that he drank his blood. His mother then testified at his trial, saying he was vegetarian. He said in interview that he supported the church burnings in Norway and that his favorite historical characters, those he drew inspiration from were Julius Caesar, Nero, Caligula and Adolf Hilter (of course). Then he kicked out founding member Infernus and sued him for the rights to the name Gorgoroth. He lost, then he came out of the closet (probably becoming the first gay nazi sympathizer ever) and retired for music.
I might catch hell for the fanboys for this article, but I don't care. I like these people and their music, they are the flagship for a fascinating subculture. They don't always hit, but do they swing hard. I'm just not part of that culture, I'm a mere observer. If the reaction to this article is good enough, I might just pull a part deux.
*For the most part, like in every musical genre, nothing is really absolute.
** National-Sociatlist Black Metal, I'm not even kidding.
*** Not everybody outside black metal know they are still a flagship band for the genre today. The two surviving original members and singer Attila Csihar are still writing music and touring.
