It was like sleeping, but thinking it was like sleeping finally snapped me out of it.
I don't like to forwardly discuss philosophy on this blog, because it can be a nasty breeding ground for bullshit. I've got a thin skin for people who claim to be ''existentialists" or "Nietzschean" like soccer moms taking up a personality test in Cosmopolitan and others who like to tell me they've understood Kant and Hegel better than me and that all understanding of everything is intrinsically tied to these two (which I have not read). So, I tend to shut up and keep away from philosophical discussions because they are often silly and disconnected.
It's not that the subject doesn't interest me, though. I've made it my life mission to reconcile ideas and reality, which is often accomplished best through fiction. I didn't pledge allegiance to any philosophical thinkers per se, but existentialism and stoicism both make a lot of sense to me. TRUE DETECTIVE was somewhat of a revelation to me in philosophically loaded fiction, and it lead me seek out more. It's how I've stumbled upon Chris Rhatigan and Pablo D'Stair's YOU DON'T EXIST, a collection of two slim existential noir novellas published by All Due Respect Books. I was expecting to like it, but I was in no way expecting something so lean, mean and all-around fantastic.
Both novellas were great, but my favourite was BLEED THE GHOST EMPTY, by Pablo D'Stair. A nameless protagonist gets lost after driving off the highway. He doesn't recognize the road, the landscape or the name of the towns he drives by. In a diner parking, he finds man with a screwdriver in his eye, a post-mortem boner and $18,000 under his bucket seat. It's a chapterless novella, written in several short section, a technique that communicates the feelings of confusion and disorientation to the reader. BLEED THE GHOST EMPTY is filled with symbolic elements, yet Pablo D'Stair gives little to no background to his protagonist, so the reader is left to create a story by himself and it's the kind of playfulness I appreciate from an author.
You're going to die.
The plane will explode.
You will burn to death.
Yet you are no one.
You have lived thirty-seven years, but you have done nothing.
No one will mourn your death.
Chris Rhatigan's novella PESSIMIST also was enjoyable, albeit more classic than BLEED THE GHOST EMPTY. I've described Rhatigan as a heir to David Goodis before, and PESSIMIST doesn't stray far from his go-to model. Pullman is a loser, working an unspecified dead-end job, who stumbles upon a bag containing $680,000 during a business trip in the middle of nowhere. Struggling with his pessimistic nature and not knowing what to do with his newfound wealth, Pullman goes in every possible moral direction with it, only to be confronted to himself every time. PESSIMIST is more what you would expect of a noir story. What makes it stand out from the amorphous noir blob is the relationship Pullman has to his money. It affects him, changes the way he thinks about himself and generates major anxiety. Chris Rhatigan created another damned soul bathing in the holy light from a sacred place he can't reach.
Some people would argue that noir fiction is existential in its nature. I disagree with that idea. I think in its most classic form, noir is more akin to tragedy than to existentialism. YOU DON'T EXIST is a good example of how different noir can be with an existential focus. Nothing is predetermined and although it is rarely packing good news, it relies more on character and human nature in general than on tropes. It's more unpredictable and, in my honest opinion, more exciting than the usual determinist tragedy that the genre has gotten us used to. I sligthly preferred Pablo D'Stair's piece because of its narrative playfulness that evened out the heavy tone of the story. D'Stair's a supremely confident author and has a good understanding of a quirk every reader has: we tend to fill in the blanks. The blanks in BLEED THE GHOST EMPTY are studied and deliberate and were an absolute blast for me.
YOU DON'T EXIST is a short read. I would've never thought I could write so many words about it, but it's usually what happens when something captures my intellect the way this collection did. The only knock I have about it is that it's way too short. The double feature format is a calling card of All Due Respect Books and it honestly it a terrific promotional tool, but it left me hungry for somewhat I'm not sure exists beyond the pages I've just read. YOU DON'T EXIST is a calling card for existential noir, a bleak rendering of the struggle of being human. Existence is meaningless indeed, unless you're willing to carve your name into its fabric. Pablo D'Stair and Chris Rhatigan did just that by releasing this powerful collection upon their peers. One of my favourite reads of the year, so far.
Some people would argue that noir fiction is existential in its nature. I disagree with that idea. I think in its most classic form, noir is more akin to tragedy than to existentialism. YOU DON'T EXIST is a good example of how different noir can be with an existential focus. Nothing is predetermined and although it is rarely packing good news, it relies more on character and human nature in general than on tropes. It's more unpredictable and, in my honest opinion, more exciting than the usual determinist tragedy that the genre has gotten us used to. I sligthly preferred Pablo D'Stair's piece because of its narrative playfulness that evened out the heavy tone of the story. D'Stair's a supremely confident author and has a good understanding of a quirk every reader has: we tend to fill in the blanks. The blanks in BLEED THE GHOST EMPTY are studied and deliberate and were an absolute blast for me.
YOU DON'T EXIST is a short read. I would've never thought I could write so many words about it, but it's usually what happens when something captures my intellect the way this collection did. The only knock I have about it is that it's way too short. The double feature format is a calling card of All Due Respect Books and it honestly it a terrific promotional tool, but it left me hungry for somewhat I'm not sure exists beyond the pages I've just read. YOU DON'T EXIST is a calling card for existential noir, a bleak rendering of the struggle of being human. Existence is meaningless indeed, unless you're willing to carve your name into its fabric. Pablo D'Stair and Chris Rhatigan did just that by releasing this powerful collection upon their peers. One of my favourite reads of the year, so far.