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Music Video Review : Rihanna - Bitch Better Have My Money (2015)



The collapse of the music industry over the last two decades has been a source of entertainment to me. I can't think of any people more deserving of this slow death that the suit-wearing, crap-peddling slavers working for major record labels. See, the music industry as we know it might be dying, but music itself is fine. In fact, it might be immortal. I can't think of a better metaphor to illustrate this phenomenon than the illustrious face plant of pop singer Rihanna's career.

The Bajan starlet took the world by storm last decade with catchy songs, sophisticated lyrics (for pop songs) and a bold, classy look. She was threatening the immortal Beyoncé for the throne of first lady of pop culture. This elaborate construction broke down after a vicious domestic violence incident involving her (then) boyfriend Chris Brown. The true Rihanna emerged from that trauma, a darker, wilder young woman who ushered her audience into adulthood with her provocative songs. Ir would've been an adorable coming-of-age narrative if Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and every other female starlet hadn't rebranded in the exact same way also.

Anyway, Rihanna released a mediocre, yet uproariously provocative song titled BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY, earlier this year.Last week, she released an equally provocative video for the aforementioned song and it's so bad, I just have to (somewhat) review it. This is where mainstream music is, right now.

The video for BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY is a highly colorful, tastefully saturated, seven minutes long kidnapping narrative where Rihanna decides to kidnap a wealthy white bitch for obscure reason, but presumably because she's a wealthy white bitch and that she has money to spare. I'm not sure exactly what happens to that woman, but it's implied in the video that her fate was dark and that the persona Rihanna is incarnating for the occasion loves to shower in blood. The white bitch sure suffered through borderline physical torture (illustrated above), psychological abuse and forced narcotics consumption. The ending of the video is a clumsy attempt at creating crude, yet cryptic image meant to feed controversy, like Kanye West does sometimes. Aside from small-time, drug-addled female criminals with Scarface delusions living in Florida, I can't think of anybody who would find this video clever, moving or engaging in any way.

It's unclear to me why major recording artists are still bothering to shoot music videos. The soul purpose of their existence used to be MTV and now that the station airs more reality shows than music, I can't see what can possibly justify the investment. BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY is a vanity project, meant to piss people off. This video so desperately wants you to be offended by boobs that it just keeps throwing them at you when you least expect it. My favorite one is at the very beginning, where the kidnapping victim walks around her house with a transparent bra. Who the fuck wears a transparent bra? Boobs are the biggest calling card of BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY, because the graphic violence is kept off screen. In terms of controversy, the silliness and the free nudity will raise eyebrows, but the violence in the video wouldn't have offended anybody in 1995.

See for yourselves!

BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY (the song and the video) is meant to be bold and daring. It is neither. The imagery might be a little direct, but it doesn't venture into uncharted territory. If you're familiar with hip-hop music, it's nothing you've haven't seen or heard before. The music is atypical (for pop), has some dubstep and dancehall influences, but we're far from the experimental pop of Kanye West and Sia. It's not what Rihanna is good at. If you look at her best seller's list, you'll find titles like Umbrella, Disturbia and Diamonds, which are catchy and sophisticated, two characteristics that made her success. BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY is somewhat catchy, but calling it unsophisticated would be an understatement. I have no doubt it already sold millions of copies because it wears the Rihanna brand, but it's a childish and blunt experiment, even by her decaying standards.

I understand that the video for BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY is meant to stir up controversy and that I'm feeding the flame by writing about it. It makes me a little cynical, to be honest. I used to really like Rihanna, before she blossomed into a reckless adult in her post-Chris Brown era. The quality of her music and videos has plummeted over the last five years, but she's one of these people who's become so popular, everything she's going to do will sell to some degree. She, like the music industry, keeps trying to build emotional truths to sell us, but her spell's been broken a while ago and it's just not the same thing anymore. The video for BITCH BETTER HAVE MY MONEY is another half-hearted attempt at creating edgy stuff, but there's little heart in it. There's also little of what we love about Rihanna in it, too.


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