Order X'S FOR EYES here
"Everybody is a stranger when you behead them."
Only a select few people who aren't familiar with the work of Laird Barron are going to have the privilege of reading this book. It was my first book from this author, but I knew him by reputation already so it doesn't count. X's for Eyes isn't too obscure or willingly complicated, but it is brimming with an educated madness one can only earn. It's a masterful novella that has to be consumed like absinthe, slowly and with an acceptance of your inevitable undoing. I understand now. I get why so many people are crazy about Laird Barron's writing now and consider me a new fan of his explosive, kaleidoscopic and thoroughly unique brand of cosmic horror.
X's for Eyes is the story of Dredrick and Macbeth Tooms, the twelve and fourteen year old heirs to Sword Entreprises' world domination ideals. Tasked with recuperating a space probe after its return on Earth, the kids find out the thing went much further than they could imagine and brought back an unspeakable secret with it. Of course, their violent and immoral competitors will stop at nothing to learn what Sword Entreprises knows about the probe. Stealing from the two sons of a supervillain is no easy task though. Dredrick and Macbeth are not your everyday dreamy eyed, prepubescent kids. They have an empire to defend.
The mist parted and Dad glided down the canopy and landed softly . He wore his battle ensemble - a tight black jumpsuit, half mask, winged gloves, knee-high boots,and a black cape. The mask accentuated the regal cruelty of his diamond-hard eyes, hawkish nose, and thin, cold lips. The ensemble's designers, Dr. Bravery and Dr. Navarro, guaranteed the fabric was flameproof, bulletproof, and capable of absorbing sufficient kinetic energy to withstand a collision with a two-ton truck. Best of all, it shifted color at Lear's will, should he have need of camouflage. Their father's dirty little secret? Dad didn't really need the suit, he simply enjoyed the look.
There is not shortcut to the full enjoyment of X's for Eyes, you have to have read your way to it. I've had a lot of fun with the book, but perhaps I would've had even more with a couple more years of reading under my belt. It echoed the Hardy Boys, crazy espionage pulp stories, Trevanian, H.P Lovecraft and the canon of Cosmic Horror, and most likely several others I didn't get because I haven't read enough. It's a short book, but every line is loaded with potential double-entendre or subtle reference to another work that'll make you deliberately slow down. X's for Eyes has a break-neck pace, yet forces you into micro-reading, which is both highly enjoyable and extenuating.
Don't let the two-digits page count of X's for Eyes frighten you into thinking you won't get enough bang for your buck, because Laird Barron and Bizarro Pulp Press have done their due diligence here. It would've probably bludgeoned me into submission if it had been any longer. X's for Eyes is something very precise. It's not the kind of reading you can enjoy viscerally. It's a laughing-out-loud crazy, funny pulp story that's so over the top, not even conspiracy theorist could've come up with it. I might've slapped my knee a couple times and talked to myself while reading it. It's that kind of book. The Matthew Revert cover is one of the most beautiful things I've seen on a book in 2015, but the content of X's for Eyes lives up its gorgeous packaging and then some.
