How to Get Your Novel Reviewed (or Get People to Pay Attention to You)
I closed to book reviews two years ago. It was a huge failure.
No one listened. I took down my review policy section and announced my decision in a post, thinking creatives would leave me alone. I wanted the site to cut off commercial imperatives and regain its strong identity. That happened and I’m proud of it. What also happened is that overnight, my mailbox became flooded with terrible, unsolicited submission. The worst kind, written by creatives who did not spend any time wondering whether we would be a fit.
The submissions I got before weren’t any better, I had considerably less to deal with. Quickly enough, reading through the slush pile became a weird, morbid hobby of mine. What the fuck was wrong with these people? Who did they think they were? Why would I do something for them if they didn’t even do me the courtesy of understanding who I am and what I do. Needless to say, I did not even bother answering these wayward requests. These are the 99%.
But there are the people who do their homework.
They are few. They are proud and they exist. They read the site, learn my name and take the time to write a thoughtful email to pitch their project. For some weird reason, I can’t get myself to write back. My hands hover over the keyboard and I’m fumbling for reasons to say no, although I can’t find one reason to say yes outside that they write a genre that I review. I want to speak to you guys, today. You are 0,9% of my submitters and I SHOULD get back to you.
I may not review your book, but I want to do right by you.
Simon Sinek and literature
I’ve been reading books by a business guru named Simon Sinek for a couple weeks now, in order to find new ideas for the site. That’s right, I read business books before your novel. What differentiates Sinek from the garden variety life coach/business guru is that he’s a student of the game. He loves to talk with successful people, learn from them and establish parallels between their philosophy. These parallels go way beyond marketing and business.
In his first book Start With Why, Sinek makes a case that the world’s must successful business have a clear philosophical reason to exist. For example, Apple exists to challenge the status quo and empower the individual. Wal-Mart (at the beginning) existed for the sake of helping people gain affordable access to goods. Well, that thinking sort of applies to book and creative pitches in general. Your book needs a reason to get picked up.
For example:
I’ve read almost half of Lawrence Block’s Matthew Scudder novels, but I’ve only read other books of his that were sent to me unsolicited via mail. I’ve never had the urge to read any other. Why? Block is awesome, but I don’t read the Scudder novels because of him. I read them because they make me feel that I can overcome my flaws and (partly) heal from a traumatic past. I have a philosophical reason to follow this character.
Take Joe Lansdale. He tells atypical stories of backwoods, tough guy justice that are humorous, more often than not. He’s got brilliant outliers like Cold in July, that are pretty serious but it is clear what I’ll find in them: backwoods, tough guy justice. Frank Bill is another backwoods tough guy writer, but his characters are not seeking justice. They merely want to survive. If I want to read about survival in extreme environments, I will pick up a Frank Bill novel.
These novels have an identity. One that goes beyond plot, beyond characters, beyond the nuts-and-bolts of the narrative, like Chuck Palahniuk would say. They have something more profound than the desire to entertain me. Entertaining novels you pick up at the airport on your way to Cuba. Profound novel you put in your bookshelf and you treasure forever.
But what about novels I haven’t read?
Take Jennifer Hillier’s Little Secrets for example. I haven’t read this novel yet and I’ve been trying to find the reason why. Her novels usually feature women trying to redefine themselves. This is what I like most about her books. They are stories of transformation. Her character lose innocence, but acquire strength. This is a very powerful, very true message. This is what will happen to you in life: adversity, loss of innocence and gain of inner strength.
So why haven’t I picked it up? Little Secrets is a novel about a disappearing child and while I don’t have kids myself, I don’t know how you can gain inner strength from that. Even if the kid is alive (in the novel he’s been missing for a year), imagine what kind of fucked up things (s)he) must’ve suffered through all that time? That fucking kills you as a parent. I think this is what is bugging me, but I’ll probably end up reading it anyway because I love her books.
WHY does your book exist? What are the values you’re trying to communicate with it? What is the big picture message? I know WHY this site exist: because I don’t want pop culture overthinkers to feel alone. It’s a flare in the night for compulsive thinkers. If you can answer that question and formulate it compellingly in a pitch, you can probably get me to review your novel. You can probably get anyone to pay you attention if I’m being fair.
Do it. Do it before I reopen for submissions.
