Movie Review : Batman & Robin (1997)
Film director Joel Schumacher passed away earlier this year. This is always a good thing for creatives in popular culture. Once an artistic legacy becomes complete, it can be contextualized and appreciated for what it is. Films like Lost Boys and Falling Down will definitely be remember more fondly now that Schumacher kicked the bucket. Batman & Robin will never be fondly remembered, though. It’s a movie so bad, it tests the limit of post-mortem revisionist nostalgia.
Batman & Robin is the direct sequel to Joel Schumacher’s Batman Forever, which is a weird soft reboot of Tim Burton’s Batman run. Now partners, the titular Batman (George Clooney) and his young adult sidekick Robin (Chris O’Donnell) are attempting to put a lid on a crime spree committed by a new, ice-themed villain named Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger). This is basically what’s going on, but there’s also a crazy botanist, Alicia Silverstone and a whole lot of unrequited Alfred (Michael Gough).
The reason why Batman gained such a rabid comic book following is simple: he’s an archetype of accomplished human potential who’s fighting enemies who are dark reflections of his own personality. This is also the reason why Batman & Robin is not good, for it doesn’t seem to understand that. Mr. Freeze’s relationship to his frozen wife is supposed to echo Batman’s relationship to his dead parents, but Batman & Robin is completely tone-deaf to that.
Now, I don’t mind a movie not respecting Batman’s canon. Christopher Nolan’s trilogy is full of transgressions. But it’s interesting. On top of being devoid of Batman’s classic dramatic traits, it’s basically a two-hours confrontation between ice man, plant girl and Bat millionaire. The most meaningful relationship explored in Batman & Robin is reserved to Bruce Wayne and Alfred, which is the weirdest fucking choice ever. I love Alfred, but he’s not important.
If I understood correctly, the main idea of Batman & Robin was to introduce a new character: Batgirl, played by the aforementioned Alicia Silverstone. It’s basically trying to sell you a new toy. Now, Batgirl is historically Commissioner Gordon’s daughter, which makes sense. Making her Alfred’s niece and somehow making the movie about that is just… weird and counterproductive to everything that’s fun about Batman.
It’s supposed to be about him and it’s supposed to be reflected by the character around him. Who gives a fuck if Alfred has a family that thinks being a butler sucks?
Batman & Robin is not a good film. It’s not vile or poorly constructed, but it is a blatant attempt at merchandising crap to children and not in a good way. There are awesome children movies that encourage a thought process at a young age, but this more of a “buy this awesome ice-themed action figure to scrap with your already bought Batman” kind of movie. If you eschew meaning for marketing, you’re going to also eschew interest and legacy.
Yeah, that movie sucks.
3.5/10
