The Homeland Drinking Game — Dead End Follies

Jan 12

Jan 12 The Homeland Drinking Game

The first episode of season 6 of Homeland dropped early on Showtime's website and just like that, the most unpredictable show featuring the most hilariously predictable characters is back. Originally based on an Israeli television show called Prisoners of War, Homeland made its debut on cable television in 2011 as some sort of auto-immune reaction to racist shows like 24 and evolve with time and growing demand into a wildly compelling albeit paranoid show about the self-defeating business of war.

I love Homeland as much as the next guy, but it's one of these series you need to take with a grain of salt or it will otherwise transform you into whatever Alex Jones is. So, I invented a drinking game in order to celebrate the arrival of Season 6. I'm sure you'll notice, the series lends itself admirably well to the exercise.

Rules: The series has four adorable recurring characters who either love or hate each other depending on the season or on whatever they're conspiring towards. They each have uproarious habits that makes them ridiculously predictably and insanely endearing. I suggest you grab a crate of beer or a couple bottle of wine during the season and up the ante with something fucked up for the finale like, gin or whatever's your poison.

Here we go.

Carrie Mathison (Clare Danes)

Take a sip if...

She pops a pill.
She chases that pill down with a glass of wine.
She refuses to take her meds.
She cries
You haven't seen her daughter Franny for one full episode.
She awkwardly tries to seduce a random character.
She has awkward sex with him.
She tells someone that "it's a question of national security."
It was a lie. She just wanted to get somewhere
She gets angry at Saul

Finish your drink if....

She pops a pill that's NOT her meds.
She has awkward sex with another lead character in the series.
She solves a plot against America under the spell of her bipolar disorder.
You haven't seen her daughter for THREE full episodes.
She gets caught in a terrorist attempt.

Peter Quinn (Rupert Friend)

Take a sip if...

He kills a motherfucker.
He loathes himself for it.
Another lead character shits on his feelings.
Another lead character endangers his life.
He refuses an irresponsible and dangerous assignment.
He does it anyway.
He tries to tell Carrie his feelings about her.
He ends up changing his mind and not saying anything.
Another woman tries to hit on him.
He gentlemanly turns her down.

Finish your drink if...

He kills an innocent person.
He takes his rage out on the wrong person.
He has sex with a random woman and THEN gentlemanly turns her down.
Another lead character endangers his life for a stupid reason.
He goes rogue and starts dropping bodies like a boss.

Saul Berenson (Mandy Patinkin)

Take a sip if...

He lies to someone.
He lies to someone he loves.
He tells Dar Adal to go fuck himself.
He gets angry at Carrie for an obscure reason.
He agrees to do something and then does the opposite.
He pulls a convenient contact out of his ass.
That contact happens to be from Mossad.
That contact was a women he used to/is still having sex with.
Someone questions his loyalty.
He ends up stabbing that person in the back (metaphorically).

Finish your drink if...

He lies to someone he loves, but this time it's to protect national security.
He gets demoted by a paranoid politician.
He has to run for his life in that awkward jog of his.
He stabs someone questioning his loyalty in the back, literally or causes his/her death.
He ends up being right about everything.

Dar Adal (F. Murray Abraham)

Take a sip if...