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Book Review : Eric Beetner - Nine Toes in the Grave (2015)


Order NINE TOES IN THE GRAVE here

(also reviewed)
Order DIG TWO GRAVES here - Read the Review
Order RUMRUNNERS here - Read the Review

There’s too much writing out there by folks trying to explain noir to others, so I won’t attempt to do that here. Instead, I’ll tell you two things: I know what noir is and Eric Beetner does it very well. Nine Toes in the Grave, Beetner’s latest, is the kind of novella that hits the ground running and never slows down. You can read the whole thing in one sitting, and that’s exactly what I did. Then I had to take a break because I knew whatever came next ran the risk of seeming a bit slow and subdued.


Reese is one of those guys who has always tried to do the right thing despite having been dealt a shitty hand in life. He works as a cook in a small diner in the middle of nowhere, but at least that keeps him fed and he has something going on the side with Moira, the boss's wife. Unfortunately, she wants him to do something terrible so the two of them can have the place all to themselves. Reese is not that kind of guy, so Moira takes care of it and has a perfect plan to pin the whole thing on him. On the run, scared, and broke, Reese ends up taking a gig offered to him at a bar. As with most easy gigs that pay serious money, this one is dangerous, and it quickly turns sour. What follows is a fast-paced and wonderfully violent narrative about a man who has to get rid of his code of conduct in order to find some justice.

As I said before, Beetner knows noir, and few genres are as entertaining as noir when it’s done well. This novella combines violence with tight dialogue and a main character that’s really easy to empathize with. Also, Beetner writes in a way that manages to keep humor in the equation despite the fact that everything that’s going on is bleak.

Moira didn’t seem to mind the stink on me after a shift. She kept herself doused with perfume like it was bug repellant keeping the gnats and chiggers of her life at bay. Didn’t smell much better than a can of Raid. We started up one night after close the way you do. Nothing new to tell there, just two people clinging to each other and calling it just fucking when in a lot of ways it was the only thing keeping us from catching a ride with one of the truckers and getting the hell out of there.

Several novels, short stories, and novellas deal with a character who finds him or herself in a bad spot and has to do whatever it takes to get out of it. The beauty of Nine Toes in the Grave is that it goes from somewhat depressing to absolutely messed up and about to get worse in just a few pages. This unrelenting speed could mean a very empty narrative in less capable hands. Luckily, Beetner has chops and the story is full of great dialogue, a gutter philosophy that feels authentic, and a very interesting character that pops up when you least expect it and adds a lot of flavor to the tale. Lastly, the author never loses track of the fact that what matter is the story being told because it’s one that can happen to most of us.

“How about: there was a girl. We fucked, then she fucked me. I drove here and bit on the first bait dangled my way because I’m an idiot. Turns out the bait was bad news and then…” I held up the loose cuff.

If relatively decent people dealing with awful odds and being forced to commit crimes is you thing, then this one is a must-read for you. The action and brutality are there, and the philosophy and humor are the icing on the cake.

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